A HOLIDAY

Thanks to all for the words of encouragement and making clear that you don't want Tea and Cigarettes to end. I feel quite humbled by it all. I didn't think my own internal rages would matter so much to other people. I also accept that Baz did not intend to make me feel so intensely under siege and I am relieved that he will be more diverse in his place of debate on an issue that obviously interests him.

I will take a break to finish my dissertation - 5 pages, 6000 words and a lot of organisation to do in about the three weeks and then I'll be back with new rants, opinions and reflections. Meanwhile, I will be hanging around here for a bit . It's my new blog which I hope will keep me writing fiction after I graduate.

BLOGGING OVER - BACK TO WORK

So now after blogging a couple of posts I am about to disappear again back into my world of fiction.

My two year MA course is almost at an end and I have my dissertation to write for September. That will be a 90 minute script based on my belief that I am not a good fiction writer but I have proved to myself that I can, at least, write for the screen. I'm not actually sure if that's true but I'm concerned that the jury is still out on fiction writing this far into the course and I'm still no where near writing that novel that I've always wanted to do.

Perhaps it's not that I can't write fiction but that it takes me too long to get to grips with what I'm trying to do with a story. My tutor Graham Joyce is both a brilliant and successful award winning novelist. He's written the first draft of his new novel in the time it has taken me to battle with the right 4,500 words that I'm looking for. His post linked above gives an idea of how hard it is to get a story as you want it.

Graham also makes clear that's it's good to get some away from the story for a while. To give it some space. "Quarantine" he calls it. That is why I'm blogging today. I thought that if I did something completely different, then when I pick up my story again, it will somehow become miraculously clear what needs to be done.

It's a short piece called Granny's House which is about a woman who was abandoned by her parents and brought up by her grandmother. When she has to clear the house after her grandmother's death, she discovers the secret of her past.

I've been all around the houses, round the block, up the street a couple of times, and then took a blast up the M1 with this one. It started out as crime story- my favourite genre - but it soon became apparent that I had the basis for a novel and, frankly, too many twists, too many characters and not enough substance. It was with a very heavy heart, some words of encouragement from Graham, and after my break in Italy that I eventually got back to it after my very first bout of writer's block. I had to get back to the drawing board. The story also involved four generations of women so some grannies had to go.

I think I've simplified it enough now to get cracking further on with it. Gone is the murder plot, a daughter I put in there, and a great grandmother. It's not so much of a crime story now as a mystery. I've still got lot of redundant information in there I'm sure but it's still quite hard to see the wood for the trees.

Added to my misery is the fact that I only have a week to hand in this last assignment and I've just accepted a job in a local newspaper office for 40 hours a week, starting tomorrow, which means I'll be in the office all day and hoping I have the energy to be creative when I get back home in the evening after 6pm.

The one regret I think I'll have about this course when it does eventually end, is that I haven't had the time to devote to just fiction writing. Perhaps when the pressure of writing for a grade to achieve a qualification is over, then I'll relax more about my writing and stories like the one above will come to me more easily.

KAPOW - WRITING WITH IMPACT

Fiction writing at it's best can be found in the book above available to buy from Nottingham Trent University, through me. £5 - bargain!

Of course, I would say it's great because one of my short stories is in it. I also know that it's crammed with the imagination of some damn talented students with contributions from award winning professional writers, who also happen to be our tutors, including Graham Joyce, David Almond, Georgina Lock, David Belbin, and Mahendra Solanki.

The new term, and my final year of study for my MA, started last week and I felt overwhelmingly inspired but at the same time terrified. We read and critiqued three pieces and I was truly amazed at the way my fellow students painted landscapes with well chosen words and methaphors. However, in two week's time it will be my turn to go under the spotlight and I'm working hard to match the standard of quality that has now been set.

I'm working on a short story about infidelity and I'm vountarily and involuntarily thinking about it all the time. It's got so deep into my head that it's physically making me sick. I'm even dreaming about it. I had a strange one the other night all about an engagement ring and the loss of two of it's four purple stones and I'm wondering where I can fit that metaphor into my story. I'm not entirely sure that this obsession is good for my health but I am almost there with it so the pain will be worth it. The resolution is bothering me a bit, though. Being an optimist about relationships, I'm trying to find a happy ending for my couple. Is love enough to forgive infidelity or does pride, self-respect, even sexism, come into the decision making process? (answers on a postcard, please, or the comments section below!)

This obsession and the amount of hard slog that I know is coming my way over the next year means there may be times when my blogging is light. If anyone wants to help me out and guest blog, get in touch. Otherwise I'll do my best to update as often as I can. I'm sure something is bound to hit the news that will have me screaming like my mate Banshee.

I'm not sure how many copies of the book are still available for sale, as it was published last summer, but if readers are interested in getting a copy, I can at least take orders. NTU students publish a similar anthology every year.

This book below is one that I wrote back in 2001 but it isn't fiction. It's local history and a damn good read as well. £5 - bargain. It's about the Lincoln riots of 1911 and the failure of the authorities to deal with three nights of violence. I think binge-drinking had a huge part to play here as well as the struggle of the working man (at least he could smoke back then!) Copies available from me.