You might have noticed that My Profile has changed to take into account the fact that I'm no longer an MA student but an MA graduate.
After two long years, aching feelings of impending failure and doom, thousands of hours spent over a laptop staring at a computer screen, scribbling notes on paper, worrying about the next assignment and how I'd manage to fit it in around ever increasing work commitments, and just a general but inexplicable view that I wasn't worthy, it's all over. I passed.
My 90 minute script dissertation got me a First but an overall Commendation after taking into account getting a Second in fiction and a Second in the academic side of the work. I'm more than happy with that.
The script is still with the Agent for consideration. The wait is killing me but I'm told it's arrived safely and it could be another 10 weeks or so before I hear if I am accepted or rejected. If it's taken then I'll obviously be over the moon. If not, then I have other ideas and it will just take me longer to get where I want to be.
I have a huge sense of personal achievement. This course has proved to be like walking around a cliff edge with a very narrow path from beginning to end. My initial application resulted in anguish because I was told I hadn't demonstrated any talent. I tried again. I convinced myself I was no good and was, actually, just in the middle of telling a friend that I'd put the dream of being a fiction writer to bed once and for all when the call came from the University inviting me for the interview.
Having then been accepted, the next biggest hurdle was finding the funding to pay the £4000 over the two years. I opted for instalments. In my own mind, I was on payasyougo. I decided to drop out when the money ran out even though there would still have been some sort of financial liability if I did. Luckily, a regular work contract came in. I was able to see the course through.
I ranted back then about how Nulabour had priced the poor out of education. If I had done an undergraduate course, I could have got funding. I was told to apply to my county council who told me Govt policies supported those doing a UG course but not an MA course. Apparently because it's thought by then that you've done the UG and you don't get funding twice.
It seemed crazy to me because I'd never done a university degree of any sort before. I went from A levels in 1992 to an MA in 2008. It kind of implied that if you don't have the funds to climb the social ladder then you should know your place and not bother.
Anyway, that's all water under the bridge now. The only thing left to do is take part in Graduation day but I've decided against it. My sister seems to be the only one who is bothered. My kids would support me if I wanted to do it but it's no big deal. My other half understands. If my mother was still alive then I'd go for it to make her proud. I'm proud enough of myself not to have to wear a gown and a big hat to prove it.
If my script does get taken up, that will be the time to party like it's .. errrr ... 1999 ... if only we could. In the absence of the freedom to choose a public place where I'd like to celebrate my new found educashun, I'll settle for a smoky drinky night at home.
Here's hoping ...